Monday, 17 December 2012

Dawson's Creek - 106 - Baby


Original air date: February 24, 1998

After my last post, a friend requested I put a warning up. This is her words of warning:

BEWARE: CONTENTS MAY CAUSE PTSD STYLE FLASHBACKS TO YOUR PUBESCENCE. 
PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

You have been warned. Moving on...

Once again, dear readers, we open this episode in Dawson's bedroom.

Ahhhh, rituals.
But alas, something is very different this time around. Joey is uneasy and wants to leave after only one movie. Why is this? Because Evil!Jen is there too.

Dun, dun, DUNNNNNN!
How dare that blond harlot intrude on Dawson and Joey open the episode time? Doesn't she know that Joey needs to make fun of Dawson for not kissing you more or for the fact that he's a dreamer? Don't you know that Dawson has to make a case for movies in real life and that Joey ends the opener on a snappy one liner? You're ruining everything, Jen!

How dare you take my one-liners away!

So movie night is effectively ruined because Jen accepted Dawson's invite. Joey can't stay if Jen does because she hates Jen but she can't stay if Jen leaves because she doesn't want to look like a bitch. Jen can't stay if Joey leaves because her Grams will get mad and she can't stay if Joey stays because it will be uncomfortable. Solution:

I'm a sad panda.
Cue theme song.

At Poor!Joey's house the next morning, Bessie is complaining about having to be pregnant for one last week while Joey acts like a spoilt brat. She hated her sister before pregnancy, she hates her sister during and she'll hate her sister afterwards. In other words, instead of being thankful that her sister is taking care of her after their mother's death and their father's incarceration, Joey is not grateful at all.

We both lost our parents but only I am suffering
because I'm Joey and only my problems matter.
Back in Grams' house, Jen kind of acts equally as entitled when Grams chastises her for having a "dirty" calendar. She says that they do not ogle naked men in this household to which Jen states that they just pray to them. This upsets Grams a great deal and while I side with Jen on most religious issues, this was just rude. It's like Jen's going out of her way to start an argument with Grams now because it amuses her. Her grandmother did agree to take her in, while she was already worried about her husband and trying to take care of him but screw that, Jen needs to feel rebellious.

Grams, instead of thanking you for caring for me while
my parents couldn't deal with me, I'm going to slam
your religious beliefs any chance I get.
Not very cool, Jen.

Next, Pacey talks with TamAHra about how they never go out and I'm starting to think he's not very bright. You do know what kind of relationship you've entered into, right? You can't go out like a normal couple because you are not a normal couple, you are a naive school boy and she is a manipulative statutory rapist. Not only that but he clearly craves a normal relationship and Ms. Jacobs cannot give him that so she is holding him back from a normal life just so that she can get a thrill and feel young again.

#horribleperson

In yet another reason that this relationship is not right, Pacey wants to talk about his relationship, and you can't do that when the relationship is illegal but he so doesn't get it which makes the relationship even more wrong. He honestly doesn't seem to get that his relationship isn't normal. So, like an idiot, he brags to Dawson that Ms. Jacobs has maybe, sort of, kind of, agreed to go to Providence with him on a date because no one there knows them. Uh, but he still looks hella young and she still looks way older than him. People are going to notice. On top of this, he is telling Dawson about this "maybe date" in a public school washroom. You know how private a public washroom is?

The answer is not at all.
However, this scene fills me with such joy because I know that this is the episode that shit hits the fan and do you know what that means? NO MORE TAMAHRA JACOBS AND THE GROSS STUDENT/TEACHER RELATIONSHIP STUFF!

Everybody party!
Cut to, Dawson walking down the hall with Jen and bragging about his parents' marital problems leaving him with the house to himself for a whole weekend. Jen is more preoccupied with the Pacey rumour going around. Sorry, Dawson, it's just that Pacey is so much more interesting than you.


Deal with it.
So everyone in the school is talking about the illicit affair between Pacey and Ms. Jacobs. Dawson tries to find Pacey to warn him but is beaten to the punch by random overalls girl. She looks so serious that to this day, I still wonder what she is whispering to him. It takes forever and she's clearly not mocking him so what is she saying? WHAT?

WTF is she whispering to him?
So Pacey knows that the school knows that he's sleeping with his teacher and Dawson tries to comfort him in a closet. I could make an easy joke about two guys being in a closet together but I'm not gonna. Besides, we already have Dougie for all of the obvious and badly done gay jokes. Anyway, Dawson tries to tell Pacey to walk around with his head held high like the rumour is ridiculous and honestly...why is this affecting Pacey so much in a negative way? I know I've been going on and on about how wrong the relationship is but I'm just saying that where he's concerned, I'm surprised that Pacey isn't getting high-fived by all the moronic jocks and dudes for banging an older woman. In our fucked up society, he would be celebrated by his male peers, not humiliated by them. The only one that should have to really worry about the rumour is Ms. Jacobs because it will be jail time for her. But, Pacey does get mocked:

Well, talked about behind his back, right behind.
And his confidence wanes because the rumour will not be defeated so easily, especially because it's true.

D'oh!
Next we go to Ms. Jacobs classroom where she is teaching about Romeo and Juliet and its theme "Forbidden fruit." which totally relates to her relationship with Pacey, you guys! You know what Romeo and Juliet also is? A tragedy which can also be applied to their relationship except the only thing that dies is the relationship between Pacey and Ms. Jacobs.

Hooray!
Some kid makes some inappropriate comments and Ms. Jacobs gets angry because she thinks Pacey was bragging about them. Regardless of whether he did it intentionally or unintentionally, you are the one in the wrong Ms. Jacobs. You are the one who had sex with a minor and it is entirely unfair of you to get mad at him when it goes sour. You should have been more responsible and not had sex with your student you skeeve.

Excuse me?
Oh you heard me, TamAHra.

Joey finds Pacey sitting alone and even though she opens with her bitchiness, she does try to make him feel better. They bond over their ability to create gossip for the "small-minded town folk." Despite my usual annoyance with Joey, I can't help but ship them right now. They actually have good chemistry in this scene but Joey is reserved for Dawson right now so forget it.

But, awwwwwwwww!
Jen complains to Dawson about how she and Grams always get into arguments and how she doesn't mean to but gets all defensive and rude to her with the whole religion thing. She also acknowledges that by doing this, she knows Grams will take her less seriously. Oh, well at least she's aware she is being purposefully hurtful to her Grams...I guess.

Baby steps, Jen.
On her way home from school, Joey comes across her sister who has gotten their truck stuck in a ditch. Bessie tells Joey that the baby isn't waiting until its due date and that their phone doesn't work because they're poor, you see. The closest phone is at Dawson's but it's not exactly the most convenient to get to, the only way to get there is...

Get it? Because they live on a creek....Dawson's Creek!
I love how it's dusk here with a very dark sky for the pretty shot but then when they arrive at Dawson's:

It's daytime. It's always day at Dawson's house!
Yes, time has begun reversing itself once again to fit in all of the juicy drama. Either that or it took Joey all night to row to Dawson's and it's now morning but I highly doubt that considering she boats over at the drop of a hat. I certainly wouldn't do it if it took me that freaking long and was that really the quickest place they could get to then? Continuity fail. Capeside also proves to be a horrible place to live as there is one ambulance to service multiple towns or something so Bessie is stuck in the Leary home to deliver her child. First rate medical care right there.

Next, Pacey confronts Ms. Jacobs about the rumour and tries to apologise but she isn't hearing it. She actually has the gall to say this to him:

Tamara: Ya know, There was one boundary placed on this relationship, Pacey.

One boundary? ONE? You know what boundary there was in your relationship with your student, Ms. Jacobs? NOT HAVING SEX WITH THEM!

Tamara: Not sex. Not true Intimacy. Only one: You don't talk about it. You don't
tell your friends. And you don't brag to your classmates. Although, now I
wonder if discretion is just too adult a concept for a boy to grasp.


There is so much wrong with this right now. Everything she says is wrong and throws me into a fiery rage so intense I nearly burned my house down. Are you for real, lady? You clearly knew the implications of what you were doing, you knew it was illegal and that you shouldn't do it and you the adult are placing that blame on a kid's conscience? YOU were the one in the wrong for starting the relationship to begin with. YOU were and only you! I hate you so much and I'm so fucking glad this storyline will be done with. Episode, please continue on your way to getting rid of this trash.

She continues to get mad at him for the story getting to the faculty lounge and then to the district attorney and just...writers please stop trying to tell us this is Pacey's fault. She deserves the District Attorney. What she did was illegal and she's an awful person. Anyway, she says she'll take him up on his offer to do things that couples do and suggests they break up.

Pacey, get over it. You're going to meet a really great girl soon.
She'll be a million times better than your Mrs. Robinson too.
Jen and Grams are in the middle of one of their now patented arguments about religion. Jen says that not only does she not have faith in God but she has little to no faith in men either when Joey comes knocking on the door.

Grams answers and Joey rattles off some dialogue about how she knows Grams hates her family but asks her to not blame the baby and stand true to the oath she took as a nurse and help her sister out.

Grams will consider it and you will be grateful.
Pacey and Deputy Doug have a discussion about the Ms. Jacobs situation except that Doug thinks that Pacey was lying about the whole thing and that "Poor, sweet Tamara" was going to be falsely accused and charged by the school board. Really, Dougie? You're that oblivious? You didn't put two and two together when you were with them and found them together on the floor? No? OK then.

Worst cop/brother ever!
Back in the Leary household, Dawson turns from filmmaker to voyeur as he films the birth. I know people do this but it's a little weird having your fifteen year old sister's guy friend film you as you push your first child out of your vagina. Just saying.

Grams takes full charge of the situation, like a BAMF, and acts like a home birth is no big. She's got this shit covered and on top of it, confronts Bessie's whining and tells her to shut up about it so that she can deliver her illegitimate child.

Just shut up and let me get my job done!
So, the council meeting has started and...wait a minute. I'm lost on the time again. Is this the same day? Is this the next day? Did time rewind or did it really take Joey all night to row across the creek to Dawson's house. It's just...the sun was almost completely down when she was rowing across and now it's day again but with the birth scene it's dusk...get your shit together Dawson's Creek!

Ms. Jacobs has lawyered up and refuses to talk to Pacey. She also has the gall to act all "assaulted" when Pacey tries to talk to her.

Yeah sure, you're the victim.
Although, I do see her point. If she wants to deny the charges, a lovesick teenager being all over her isn't going to help her case. She deserves to be caught out as the statutory rapist she is but whatever, this show wants us to believe that she's a good person and has been hurt by Pacey's actions.

I totally buy that.
Anyway, they have their little council meeting. The superintendent asks Ms. Jacobs to fess up to whether or not she and Pacey had a relationship but then Pacey interrupts with some grand speech absolving Ms. Jacobs of any guilt by saying he made the whole thing up. Pacey, what the hell man? You didn't owe her that! But whatever, he loves her or some junk and she loves him but they can never be together...OMG star-crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet...foreshadowing from earlier and shit.

Moving on.
At the Leary household, Bessie is in the process of giving birth and is losing a lot of blood according to Jen. Grams gets pissed at her for worrying Bessie but admits to Jen in private that there is more blood than she'd like to see. She also asks Jen to have faith in her and to put aside their differences in order to help Bessie. She agrees and they return to help. Bessie is in a lot of pain and asks for some medication but there isn't any so Grams asks her to recite the Lord's prayer. I rolled my eyes but it seems to work. Next.

Joey has run out because the birth was too traumatic for her. It's all about Joey and her pain, don't you know by now? She's upset because Bessie looks like her mother and her mother died. Dawson points out that she sat by her mom because her mom needed her and that Bessie needs her now too.

Dawson is useful for once. Good job, Dawson.
Back at the school, Dougie confronts TamAHra and apologises for Pacey's horrible behaviour. She tells him he should be proud and then tells him it's "Ms. Jacobs." I guess we're supposed to think this is awesome that she put Doug in her place but uhhh no pass from me. She's still a horrible person, even more so for looking down on the brother of the child she sexually manipulated for her own self-esteem.

I may be a statutory rapist but you, sir, are
mean to your brother.
Bessie is still giving birth and losing strength. Just when she's about to give up, Joey comes in and offers her support. She finally gives birth to a healthy baby boy. Aww, sisterly love got Bessie through birthing.

And look at the baby. Awwwww!
Pacey is back at Ms. Jacobs' place and goddamn that sun just won't set. Night time does not exist in Capeside, it's like Alaska in the summer months where it is always day. It's like 30 days of day or something but I digress. Ms. Jacobs says the break up is sticking and that she's moving away. Pacey is sad but I am happy and all is right with the world.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
Jen and Grams kind of make up. Jen lets her know that while she doesn't have faith in God yet, she does have a renewed faith in man.

Screw man, I'm mother-fucking Grams!
Joey and Bessie bond over the new baby who has their mom's eyes but not literally, thankfully.

Look at the size of that baby, no wonder she lost a lot of blood!
Pacey says one last goodbye to "Tammy" which sounds kind of weird on her considering she's too posh to just be called Tamara, it has to be TamAHra. I don't know, she just doesn't suit Tammy. But there you go. The episode fades out on Pacey walking alone on the beach and as soon as it ends I'm like:

You're safe now, she's gone.
So the baby is born, TamAHra Jacobs has left Capeside and Jen and Grams and Bessie and Joey are healing their respective relationships. Everyone has changed a little and grown this episode. Except for Dawson, Dawson is the same.


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