We are nine episodes into this season and I am getting more and more confident that every episode will begin in Dawson's room. I am not disappointed here and all I can think is that with three episodes left this season, they had better not disappoint me.
|Or I'll mope like Dawson|
Dawson is moping in his room while Joey complains that he's moping. It's apparently been two days since Jen dumped him and Dawson hasn't eaten and he constantly stares at Jen's house. Or maybe he leers at Jen's house. What did I tell you about that spelling of the name? Creepy.
|Maybe she dumped you because you collect |
creepy alien dolls? Seriously, fuck E.T.
Dawson whines that since she rejected him, she rejected romance, honesty and respect. Oh, did she, Dawson? Really? Because from what I remember, she dumped you because you were being a possessive jerk and she needed some time to herself. No boyfriends. Oh and also, respect? Don't make me laugh Dawson, you basically called her a slut on numerous occasions. In fact, you insinuated her sluttyness on the day she broke up with you, so you are not a champion of all things respectful, is what I'm saying.
|She also rejected judgement, shaming, |
and my goofy hairdo.
|See? What did I tell you guys? Wank material.|
After the theme song finishes, we cut to Billy pulling a B&E in Jen's room. He waits on her bed for her when Grams walks in. I've got to hand it to Grams, if I turned around and saw some strange guy in my or my family's bed, I would straight up scream and run away. But not Grams.
|Bitch, please. I've dealt with worse than you.|
She's cool as a cucumber. I don't understand why she needs a serious talk with Jen though because when Jen comes in she is genuinely surprised he is there. Grams leaves them to talk warning Jen to get him out of the house or she will call the National Guard.
Jen asks Billy what he's doing there and he claims that he heard that she dumped Dawson and so he thought she would be looking for a replacement. Except she dumped you too, Billy. Or do you not remember? You know, you were packing up and congratulated Dawson on getting the girl or whatever. Who the hell did you hear it from anyway? The only person you know in Capeside is Jen. Whatever. Jen clarifies to him that just because she and Dawson broke up, does not mean she is looking for a new boyfriend.
|Didn't I already dump you?|
Dawson is on his way to school when he bumps into Billy. Billy starts talking about how they have common ground with them both having lost Jen and for some reason, Dawson listens. Billy then convinces Dawson to go to Providence with him so that they can pick up college girls at a bar where he knows the bouncer. Dawson agrees, because he hopes that it will make Jen wonder about him for a change.
|Dawson the oblivious and gullible|
Some high school jock named Warren pulls up next to Joey and tries to offer her a ride. Joey reacts with snark but eventually relents and accepts the offer. It takes about two seconds for the jock to be all creepy and ask her if she's cold or just happy to see him.
|Hey, it's Jesse! Xander and Willow's |
forgotten best friend.
Dawson walks into school and tells Pacey what he's up to. Pacey is very excited and says he's going to go too. Billy is OK with this and Dawson goes to hand in his math homework before they leave.
|Way to hand in your math homework before |
Jen and Joey are actually walking out from class together when they bump into Billy the kid. Billy tells them that he's taking Dawson and Pacey to a club he knows because Dawson was complaining about not getting any in Capeside. Joey asks him what kind of place he's talking about and Billy alludes to the fact that they are going to a whore house. He then pulls Pacey away with him as they go get Dawson. Pacey asks if they are really going to a whore house but Billy says he was joking.
|Pacey's face when Billy says they are going |
to a whore house is adorable.
Jen and Joey are aghast at their beloved Dawson daring to go to a whore house. Jen then tells Joey that she heard something about her that morning and asks if she slept with Warren. Joey answers with snark instead of just saying no and then asks why Jen would ask that. Jen says that Warren is telling everyone they did. Damn, that guy works fast. One ride together equals sex?
|But, what about Dawson going to a whore house?|
Joey confronts Warren in the lunch room. He tells her that this lie could help both of their reputations and Joey questions how exactly it would help hers. I have to agree, in what world does having sex equal a good reputation for girls? In my experience, in this sad world we live in, girls who have sex are automatically labelled sluts and ridiculed or seen as "easy". In other words, your logic does not resemble our, admittedly sad and outdated, Earth logic. Joey goes to walk away but Warren yells out that he never said he'd be her boyfriend and the whole cafeteria starts snickering at Joey. It's OK, Joey, Warren is eventually going to get captured and turned into a vampire and then staked by his best friend accidentally.
|I might be getting my shows mixed up again...|
Jen approaches Joey in the hallway and tries to comfort her by saying she didn't believe the rumour. Joey retorts that if she didn't believe it, she wouldn't have had to ask. Sort of true but I would still want to confirm it just in case it was true. It's better to hear it from the person that just assume, is all I'm saying. Jen tells Joey that she may have a way to get back at Warren. Yay, Jen and Joey bonding time.
Dawson and Pacey are on the ferry to Providence and Pacey is hammering home Dawson's "nice guy" image by saying that he doesn't need an "angel on his shoulder" because he has Dawson. Dawson tries to claim that being the angel doesn't work for him anymore. They bicker some more when Billy comes back saying that he doesn't like the look of two guys, who he's dubbed the "Deliverance Twins" on the boat. He points out that they are harassing everyone and Pacey asks if they should give them some instant karma. Billy suggests slashing their tires but Dawson claims that is unimaginative. He then proves his super imaginative and bad boy self by asking if they've seen American Graffiti. Yeah, you're super imaginative for doing exactly what you saw in a movie, Dawson.
|Yeah, you guys should be more like Dawson and |
copy things from other, better movies.
|Best side character on the show.|
|Who put all of that in there? The locker fairies?|
Dawson hooks up the Deliverance Twins' bumper to the back of the ferry. When they are cleared to go, Pacey moons the guys as Billy hits the gas and speeds away, when the "Deliverance Twins" follow, their back end is ripped to shreds, courtesy of Dawson Leery. Now everyone will be leery of Dawson being near their cars.
|I'm King of the World!|
Once they are at the bar, Billy starts pressuring Dawson about locking down some babes already. Dawson can't fathom picking them out that fast but Pacey already has some locked down while playing pool because he's a BAMF.
|Scoping the ladies while playing pool. What a player!|
|Oh look, the side note paid off already.|
Billy pressures Dawson to follow Pacey's lead and try and pick a girl up. Dawson goes over to a girl who is wearing a film threat shirt, hoping for ease of conversation through common ground, I guess. She doesn't react well to his "Hi, my, my name Dawson" line though. Shocking:
|The sarcastic force is strong in this one|
|Pretty funny response though.|
Dawson somehow wins the girl over with his ramblings and she offers him up a name, Nina. Pacey points Dawson out to Billy and comments on how the woman looks fine. Billy looks disappointed, so he's clearly up to something.
|Nyah, my evil plan is failing. *twirl*|
|It's almost as incomprehensible as trying |
to outrun the wind. Right Marky Mark?
That's not even the worst part. She also tells Jen that Dawson was probably the only nice guy she ever dated but she fucked it up and drove Dawson into the arms of a prostitute.
|Girl, you trippin'|
|Shut up, Joey.|
Dawson is talking to Nina about movies and someone finally calls him out for pretending to be into movies and yet his favourite director is Spielberg. No offence to Spielberg, his movies are fun but, with the exception of a few, they are nothing all that meaningful or deep like Dawson keeps pretending they are.
|OK, so this scene represents the divide |
between the social classes...
Billy walks over to them and tries to pick up Nina, I guess to prove that he is better than Dawson. However, his charms don't work on secure, college girls and Nina asks Dawson if he wants to get out of the bar and away from Billy. Dawson happily agrees.
He and Nina talk as they walk to her car and Dawson let's slip that he just got dumped. Nina is not surprised by this and when Dawson explains the situation, she actually offers to let him come to her place to watch movies to help him impress his friend. Dawson turns her down because he still wants Jen back and doesn't think it would be right.
|I'd stick with offended, because if Dawson is the guy that |
restores women's faith in men, we're all doomed.
Back in Capeside Jen is approached by Abby who informs Jen that Joey is a desperate sophomore who made up a story about being pregnant in order to land a popular boyfriend. You see? I told you all that would happen!
|I told you so, I told you so, I I I told you so!|
Abby goes on to say that the reason she knows this is that she talked to a girl that used to date Warren who, I think, said that he was impotent or something. That's the only thing I can infer from "he has a soft spot for the ladies in a very unfortunate location." Jen runs over to tell Joey and they laugh about this. But...she's still the one who lied about being pregnant, you guys. Are we going to ignore this? OK then.
|Victory? I guess.|
Back at the club, Dawson goes back in with Pacey and Billy. Billy makes fun of Dawson for still being at the bar and supposedly blowing it with Nina like he did with Jen. Dawson finally calls Billy out on his crap and that he doesn't want to be like Jen's loser ex-boyfriend. Billy then pulls a hissy fit and leaves them to find their way back to Capeside. Hopefully we never see him again.
|That would have been the smart thing but |
we're talking about Dawson Leery here.
Joey then goes over to Jen's house with ice cream as a peace offering. They bond a bit over the cookie dough ice cream and Jen asks if they can keep Dawson from coming between them. Joey says she thinks so because he's only in love with one of them. Jen agrees but then hints that she thinks Dawson is in love with Joey and that she is just the object of his infatuations. They then express how grossed out they are at the idea of Dawson having sex...
So neither of them like him? Nah, I jest. I'd be grossed out if a guy I wanted to sleep with slept with a prostitute first too. Nothing against women of that profession, it's just your chances of catching an STI go way up. I've never gotten one and hope to keep it that way so if a guy I liked had done it, I would have crossed him off my list of suitable mates until he got checked out.
The next day, Dawson walks into his room because his parents didn't bother to check up on him or anything and finds Joey waiting for him. She tries to grill him about his time in Providence and if he's actually had sex but with vague questions to try and feign indifference. Dawson doesn't pick up on this and says there is so much he wants to tell her but that he's just too plum tired to talk at the moment and gets into bed so he can sleep. Joey says she's good with waiting to hear it but you can tell she's itching to know if he got it on with a prostitute. The end.
|Wake the fuck up and tell me whether or not |
you had sex with a prostitute already!
Well, that's it for this recap, next episode is Double Date. Another one of my favourites this season because of a certain pairing being realised in it. Stay tuned.