Hey, you know what I realised again? That we are still starting episodes in Dawson's room. Let's see if this trend lasts throughout season 2 as well. Another landmark to look forward to, yay!
We open up this episode with an infomercial about a spaghetti and sausage maker in one. The commercial goes on about the different sized and types of sausages it can make when the camera pans over to Dawson and Joey having a noisy make out session. Get it? Get it? The commercial is talking about making sausages and Dawson is making one too...in his pants!
|Uh oh, James grossed himself out|
|Thanks for not putting us through another |
one of their arguments, writers
In the first season, Pacey was the guy with the wheels. Now, I know they mentioned that he "borrowed" his parents' car without permission but then that seemed to be the only issue people had with it. On top of that he also drove a truck that did appear to be his, or at least lent to him. On top of that, Joey asked him to drive her to her father's prison...Pacey even got into an accident with Andie last freaking episode! What the hell, writers? What are you trying to say here? Does American licensing work differently than here? Because here we only take a written test for our learner's permit, then we take driving lessons and practice driving with someone who has a full licence until we are ready to take the road test. Upon completion of the road test, if we pass we are awarded with a full driver's licence, at least that's how it worked at the time this episode aired.
So what? Was Pacey driving completely illegally all those times? Even if he only had a learner's permit, he was still driving illegally because you are only allowed to drive if there is someone who has a full licence with you. Did the writers retcon his character? Was he supposed to already be 16 last season but the writer's wanted to do a 16th birthday story with him and changed everything? What happened here?
|Dammit, we've confused Ryan Reynolds again|
I guess, Pacey went to the DMV or classroom early because we cut over to Dawson who is just getting ready for school. Mitch is lecturing him on being sexually active because they want to try and be parents now. Dawson tries to throw the talk back at Mitch saying that "this is surreal coming from you of all people." As if because his father is sexually active, he shouldn't be giving the talk? I don't know what Dawson is trying to say there. Then again, it is what a typical teenager would say, "hey, you guys are having sex so you can't talk!" so, good job, writers.
|OK, can you explain to me what incest is? |
I'm still not sure I get it
Joey then comes into the scene and it looks like Mrs. Leery has been waiting for her. She calls Joey over to her so that she can have "the talk" with her too which is highly inappropriate. I mean, I know Joey doesn't have a mom or a dad at the moment and the Leery's are kind of her surrogate family but she does still have a sister who is her guardian. If the Leery's had concerns, they probably should have notified Bessie and let her give Joey the talk...then again, she is an unwed young mother and she was encouraging Joey to go all the way with Dawson after one kiss last episode so...
Anyway, she shows Joey a book about the repercussions of having sex which actually looks like a guide to different poses to try so...I guess she wants them to have a spicier sex life than her and Mitch?
|I wonder if Gail tried these positions |
with "Back to you, Bob"
Dawson comes to rescue Joey and they leave as quickly as possible while Mitch yells after Dawson to remember, "No hat, no glove." Sage advice if I ever heard any. Remember, kids, if you don't wear a hat, you can't wear gloves. It just looks so gauche. Gail corrects him that it's "no glove, no love." But the damage is done.
Jen doesn't want to get out of bed and go to school, presumably because she chopped all of her hair off in an emo rage and is too embarrassed to show everyone her new 'do. Grams isn't having any of it and sings about getting up and giving God your "glory, glory."
|I thought Glory was a God?|
Dawson runs into an agitated Pacey at school. Pacey tries to tell him that he failed his driver's test and is upset but Dawson doesn't like hearing about other people's problems so he switches the topic onto his parents giving him and Joey the "sex talk." Pacey tries to get Dawson back on track by saying that he can't believe he failed the test "today of all days." Dawson blithely states that he can retake the test and steers the conversation back onto himself.
Dawson: Today, two weeks from now, what's the big deal? Anyways, it was weird. Of course it figures. Joey and I are together for a week and my parents are already shoving condoms in my pocket.Wow, Dawson is a shitty friend. "Fuck your problems! My parents embarrassed me by having the sex talk with me." Also, I don't think the point was that they wanted you to nail Joey right away, the point was that they wanted you guys to think about the consequences before you get sexually active. But, Dawson is a teenager so it's understandable that he misses the point. What isn't understandable is that he does not listen to his friend who is obviously upset and ask him why, getting his licence today is a big deal to him. Or better yet, maybe he could actually take the cue and fucking remember his supposed best friend's birthday, since they apparently made pretty big plans around it and all.
|But then I wouldn't get to talk about Joey|
Jen is sitting alone at a bench when Pacey joins her. She notices right away that he is down and asks him why. Holy shit, they've barely interacted and the last time they spoke, Pacey was rubbing it in her face that Dawson had moved on to Joey and yet she's a better friend to him than his supposed "best friend" Dawson? Fuck this makes Dawson look like even more of a tool than he already was. Anyway, Pacey says he has a "bad case of the Molly Ringwald today" and she surmises that everyone forgot his birthday after going through a list of Molly Ringwald classics. She then wishes him a happy birthday.
|An actual good friend on the Creek?|
She also guesses that Dawson and Joey are so caught up in their own drama that they've forgotten him so she tells Pacey to forget them and celebrate his birthday anyway. Pacey agrees and says he's tired of being Dawson's sidekick and wants his own storyline.
|More Donald Glover, yay!|
We then transition to Jen picking up clothes or towels from bleachers. Apparently she's in gym class and has been stuck with clean up duty because she didn't give a good enough excuse, or so Abby chides her for.
|That's right, the bitch is back!|
|Look at them, all happy together|
He then says that they don't have to do any of that "pretentious getting to know each other crap" because he already knows everything about her. Sounds...boring. So, in other words, he likes that he doesn't have to date her? He likes that he doesn't have to put any effort into getting to know her better because he thinks he knows everything about her?
|Are you kidding me?|
Joey seems to also be put off by this because then she starts to tease that he doesn't necessarily know everything about her. They kiss but are interrupted by her nephew crying. While in the room alone, Dawson spots her journal and gets curious. He reads it because he's a complete dick head and looks hurt by something she's written in there, presumably about him.
When Joey comes back, it's Dawson's turn to leave in a huff because, as we all know, running away solves everything.
|No! You don't get to run away, it's my turn|
Later that day, Dawson finds Pacey putting fliers up and asks him what he's doing. Pacey says he's throwing a party and Dawson still doesn't clue in and asks him "What for?" So Pacey tells him that he's expanding his horizons and taking new chances. Dawson comes back with:
Dawson: I accidentally read something last night in Joey's journal.
Wow, Dawson. Just wow. He's basically saying "I don't give a shit what you are doing, Pacey. You exist for me to whine to about my problems." Pacey ignores Dawson's comment and tries to keep handing fliers out to people and Dawson takes that as a cue for him to continue. He whines because apparently Joey wrote this:
"I'm so sick of Dawson and his stupid horror movie. I wish I could tell him how terrible it is. How stupid, and putrid, and...it was awful."He looks all butt hurt about it too but in two seconds I was like, "wait, weren't you dating Jen while filming that movie? Put two and two together, Dawson!" She was obviously frustrated about you ignoring her in favour of Jen and you're still a douche for reading her diary in the first place. This is such a non-drama and he's completely ignoring his friend and...
|Awww, Pacey was kind enough to say it for me. Thank you, Pacey|
Now, I'm confused about whether this is a different day or the same day. I get confused a lot with this show's time lines. Because, Joey was at her home but now she's walking out of school. I suppose she could have gone home during a spare and gone back but it just seems weird because they never explain this. I think we're on the same day though because Pacey's dock party hasn't happened yet and it was supposed to be the same day ie: his birthday. But, they are all wearing different clothes so maybe this is a different day.
Andie catches up with her and introduces herself and then awkwardly asks her if she can get her brother a job. Why would Andie ask for her brother? Is her brother incompetent? Is he too stupid to find a job on his own or ask Joey himself? Eh, Andie is an overachiever and is probably trying to help him find leads. Anyway, Joey agrees to interview him if he stops by.
|If Joey didn't hate girls so much, |
they might be friends...
Dawson catches up with Joey and tries to, very obviously, fish out what her opinion was on his movie. Joey states that she loved it and thought it was really good. He doesn't believe her and keeps fishing until she finally clues in that he read her journal. Cue huge fight between them.
|We can't go one episode without fighting, can we?|
Mitch meets with a friend of his and tries to get advice on his marriage. Gail talks with Grams about their relationship at the same time. Grams suggests renewing their wedding vows while Mitch's friend suggests an open marriage. Mitch's friend seems like a bit of a scum bag.
|Hello Mitch's friend, whom |
we've never met...ever.
Abby and Jen are hanging out after school, talking about the guys Jen used to date. Abby can't believe Jen ever dated Dawson after all the cute guys she's had and neither can I. Contrary to everyone else, making Jen feel like a slut or shaming her for her past, Abby actually is enthusiastic about it and I can understand why Jen likes to hang around her and ultimately fall back into her old ways a little better this time around. Here is someone who finally accepts her for who she is and was and wants to be her friend. She also doesn't have to work at being the good girl around her, she can cut loose and have fun. Of course Jen is going to want to hang out with her.
|Plus, she's Abby and she's awesome|
Dawson confronts Joey while she's at work about her diary entry. She is understandably pissed at him for reading her stuff. Dawson apologises for reading it but demands an explanation for what she wrote about his awful film making skills. You were dating Jen at the time, she was pissed about it, case closed.
|It's elementary, my dear Dawson|
Joey claims she never snooped but come on, her boundaries are questionable. I mean, she sneaks into his room all the time to hang out in his closet, that's weird. Regardless, I am on her side on this one and seriously, Dawson, you are a shit film maker but we'll get to that later.
Enter Jack McPhee. He interrupts their fight to try and talk to Joey about giving him an interview. Joey is distracted by dealing with Dawson's bullshit and ends up just hiring him and telling him to go do dishes right away. Then Dawson continues to be an ass-hat by making her the bad guy and saying she's been lying to him. Joey remains strong, saying that the issue is not what he read but that he read it in the first place. Then Dawson says that he's glad he read it because now he knows that he doesn't really know her at all.
|Why won't women ever fit into the |
mold I make for them?
Pacey runs into Andie at his party. He is snarky with her at first but when she asks if she should leave, he tells her to stay because she's the only person he recognises. She tries to make him feel better about his party by saying that they sometimes take a while to get started and then mentions that he might have wanted to get a DJ. Pacey gets annoyed with her again and tells her to go mingle but she says that new people make her nervous and when she's nervous, she can't talk. Pacey remarks that she hasn't stopped talking since she met him.
|Andie is too cute, you guys|
Abby and Jen are getting drunk on wine at Pacey's party. Abby sees Dawson coming and dares Jen to kiss the next guy who comes up the stairs. Jen agrees and of course, the next guy is Dawson and she kisses him. Dawson pushes her away and asks what the hell is wrong with her, leaving a crushed Jen to walk away sheepishly.
|I think I'm going to vomit|
Jack sees that Joey is upset and asks her if it's her first fight with her boyfriend. Joey says no but then says it is the first time they've fought as boyfriend and girlfriend. Jack says that she hasn't had her first make up with him then either and she smiles. As if, the prospect of having a first make up trumps the trust issues she and Dawson have but oh well, they need to move the story on. Jack offers to lock up for her so that she can go make up with Dawson.
|Pretty nice to push her towards her boyfriend |
when you obviously have a thing for her
Dawson confronts Pacey at his party and starts whining about the fact that Pacey isn't available to help him with his Joey problems and that he needs some advice. Dawson says that they know everything about each other which is why Pacey can help him. Pacey comes back with this:
|All the hugs for you, Pacey|
Dawson finally figures out that he forgot Pacey's birthday but I'm kind of more concerned with his first two questions. You know, about the scar on his chin and his father hating him? Because that sounds really freaking serious to me and maybe Dawson should be picking up on that but at least he finally acknowledges his friend's birthday, I guess. Pacey isn't even all that mad about the birthday, he's mad because everyone in the town sees him as a waste of space who is unworthy of their time or concern and that he now sees Dawson as one of those people. Dawson tries to apologise but Pacey isn't hearing it.
|Good for you, Pacey|
Back at the Leery household, Mitch tells Gail that he doesn't want a divorce but that they have to make some changes in their relationship. He then asks his wife if she wants to try an open marriage. I really don't see how that's going to help a broken relationship, if anything it will drive a wedge further between them. This kind of wreaks of Mitch wanting to even the score and if he's at that point, where he feels he should be able to sleep with someone else to even the score, I don't think there is much they can do to fix their marriage.
|Team...I just give up on these two|
Dawson sees Joey and they make up in the rain because the rain washes away all their anger and their relationship slate is now clean. It's a metaphor, people! He then tells Joey that he forgot Pacey's birthday and how Pacey is really hurt and mad at him but then he steers the conversation immediately over to how he probably does suck as a film maker and he should just quit. Because everything is about Dawson and his pain, you guys. Seriously? You are the jerk in both scenarios and you want us to feel bad for you and for Joey to make you feel better?
|Yes and you're also the world's worst friend, |
boyfriend and overall human being
Joey explains to him, though she does tell him that what he did was wrong and she doesn't really owe him one, that she was venting because she's had feelings for him for a while that she was trying to hide and sometimes she would get really mad and needed to vent. She said that what she wrote wasn't the truth, just what she was feeling at the time. In other words, I was right, you guys.
She also says he's super talented and that she loved his movie and blah, blah, blah. Is it weird that I think everyone is lying when they tell him how good his movie is? Because they all sound like they are talking to a child that they are trying to build up. "It was amazing! I loved it" Yeah, it was a creature feature, calm your tits, people.
Abby and Jen see Joey and Dawson making up. Abby makes a comment about them getting it on soon and Jen says she doesn't think it will happen. In fact, she reminds us of what Dawson told her about what he thinks of Joey:
Jen: No, they're like brother and sister. I mean, Dawson even told me so himself. He doesn't ever think of her sexually.
Then Abby says she thinks they are pretending they're from Kentucky. I just love Abby so much, you guys. Also:
|Oh my god, it is incest!|
Jen says she wants to get back together with Dawson and Abby asks her why the hell she'd want to. I agree, Abby. Jen says it's because she loves him so Abby, being the awesome friend she is, says that they will get him back for her. I think I remember hating Jen in this moment when I first watched this because she did break up with him after all but I find myself feeling bad for her this time around. Like I understand where she's coming from more. She dumped Dawson because she was afraid of getting close but she still wanted him. I know the show is trying to paint her as the bad guy here but I say she should go for it, if nothing more than to save us from the nauseating "We're soul mates/it's complicated" Dawson/Joey coupling.
|Get you some, Jen|
Andie goes up to Pacey, who is sitting alone. She hands him a present and wishes him a happy birthday. She overheard Dawson and him arguing about it and felt bad for him. Awwwww! Pacey and Andie are so cute together. They share a cute moment together as they play with the magic 8 ball she got him and then Andie accidentally drops it in the creek. She mentions that she's a klutz and that some things never change. Pacey said that somethings do change, except for him, he's still the guy who's failing biology, he's just a year older now. Andie then says this:
|Awwww, Team Pandie!|
Jen gets home and sees herself in her mirror. She looks awful from drinking and partying too hard. I am convinced that Michelle Williams is the best actor in this series, of the young cast at least, based on this scene alone:
|I think Michelle is one of the best |
actors on this show
Dawson sticks around after the party to help Pacey clean up and to try and make amends now that his Joey problems are solved. He apologises for not being around and immediately brings up how "incredibly confusing and complicated" his relationship with Joey is and really? Can we please stop saying how complicated their relationship is when it's not? Please? They keep saying it's complicated but I've yet to see any evidence of how complicated their relationship is compared to any other.
Pacey: Oh, please. You and I both know I've been breaking that state law for at least the last 3 years.Oh, OK. So, he was driving illegally last season and the beginning of this one. Alrighty then.
Anyway, Dawson says that he knows where the keys to the "Mitch-mobile" are and that they could still take the trip to Maine if they wanted too. They banter back and forth a bit and have obviously mended their friendship and Dawson finally wishes Pacey a sincere "happy birthday"
|They make up|
Well, that was Crossroads. I'm not sure what the crossroads, the title of the episode was referring to because no one really had to come to any difficult decisions this episode about where they want to go in their lives but I guess they can name their episodes however they want to.
|I have future feels about this line. :'(|